Something to Make You Feel Good about Spit-Up

So they won't make spit-up smell any better, but at least you have something pretty to look at.

Recently made these burp cloths for Matt and Amber and their soon-coming baby girl. Congrats, Matt and Amber! We're looking forward to meeting her!

Junk Mail: good for something

Good for a laugh.

Parenting Book Wrap-Up

I recently went through a few parenting books. I gave some more time than others. Here are a few summarizing thoughts.

Grace Based Parenting
Like I've said previously, this is a big-idea book. It will help firm up a foundation for your parenting philosophy, from which you can then make parenting decisions. Key questions from this book: How is my parenting exemplifying God's relationship with his children? How am I preparing and strengthening my child (instead of simply protecting him)?

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers by Tracy Hogg (previously reviewed)
Detail-oriented book. Good while you're in the toddler phase (or, that is, your child is in the toddler phase). Hogg's philosophy is moderate (enforce limits, but no spanking), and she offers a lot of common sense solutions.

The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvey Karp, M.D.
I didn't give this book too much time, so if you love it you'll have to tell me why. The main idea of the book is to empathize with your toddler and speak with him in a way that he will understand. Sounds all well and good until the author gave the illustration of a mother and child using his technique. The mother ended up repeating what her toddler was doing (which included pounding and screaming) so that her toddler knew she understood, and then redirecting her toddler using toddler talk. The author also seemed to spend the majority of the book trying to prove that toddlers really were like prehistoric men in their speech, emotions, mental capacity, and behavior. To give you an idea of Karp's parenting philosophy, the discipline chapter is titled, "Gentle Diplomacy: Ways to Set Up and Enforce Limits." While I didn't get too much out of this book, I loved this illustration that Karp took from Your Two-Year-Old by Louise Bates Ames and Fraces Ilg. It describes Caleb's behavior perfectly.

The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson
I didn't get too far into this book. I tried. And tried again. But I couldn't get past the numerous references to the "fact" that men have a greater ability to focus and concentrate than women. If you know me, you know I love to submit to my husband, but I do that based on truth and wisdom, not on undocumented psychological "research." I'm sure there is good in this book; maybe I'll swallow my pride and try again sometime.

Still to read:
Shepherding a Child's Heart
Parenting with Love and Logic
What the Bible Says about Parenting

Any other recommendations?

If you haven't guessed by now, the primary way I learn is by reading. So I plan to read plenty of parenting books in the coming years. I have a lot of learning to do.

Father's Day

I was looking through old drafts and found this. I meant to post it on Father's Day, but forgot. I want to remember all the silly, fun, loving things Caleb does for his Daddy, so I'll post it now.

Vacation Reading

Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
I actually finished this before vacation started. I started thinking that I'd just read a few pages and before I knew it, I had finished. I checked this book out of the library after hearing several people fawn over it. Even the librarian gave it high marks as I was checking out. Great story that includes too many crazy things to fit into one storyline, but it works. I loved the story, but I'm not sure all the explicit sexuality was worth it.

While hinting at poignancy at times, the story borders on "cute."

A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry
Recommended by my sister-in-law with a caveat for crudeness. I'd also recommend this one. (You can read the plot summary on Amazon if want some context for my review. It's easier and better than writing my own.) This was a rather ironic choice of books to read while I sat in luxury on Florida beach. I think I left the hotel house cleaner a bigger tip than I normally would have. It reminded me of reading Anna Karenina, hoping the characters would find hope and somehow knowing they wouldn't. Hopefully I don't surprise anyone with that, but you really shouldn't read this book expecting a happy ending. Mistry's writing is excellent--subtle yet thorough character development, plenty of foreshadowing, irony, interwoven stories, and of course, a depressing ending. (It can't be literature without a sad ending, right?) Thoroughly Indian in its setting, I couldn't help but wonder what a book about American depravity would look like.

Not a cute book at all, but seriously good writing.

Shadow of the Hegemon by Orson Scott Card
One of the many books meant to capitalize on the success of Ender's Game, a "save the world" science fiction novel. Unfortunately, Shadow of the Hegemon is not very successful, in my opinion. In Ender's Game it seemed like the kids were smart and insightful problem-solvers. This book just seemed to be full of kids who thought they were smarter than they really were, and those type of kids (people) just aren't very endearing. Add to that a sloppy treatment of cultural ideologies, and I didn't become a fan. This is the "cleanest" book of the three, but I didn't gain anything from reading it either.

Not bad airport reading.

(By the way, I would recommend Ender's Game and Ender's Shadow for their insight into human interactions--and for the pure enjoyment of reading them.)

5 years

Last week, Luke and I celebrated 5 years of marriage. We left Caleb in the care of his Grandma and Grandpa Ryon and flew to the Florida Gulf.

We spent a day swimming, picnicking, and reading on the beach at Fort de Soto. We spent a morning chasing dolphins in a kayak. (Ok, not really chasing per se, but we did get pretty close.) We ate good seafood every chance we had. (At least good by our inexperienced taste buds.) We went out during naptime without disrupting the rest of the day. We walked on the beach and enjoyed sunsets. We spent time together. We found ice cream that reminded me of the best of Baskin Robbins and Whitey's all in one.

I'm so thankful for my husband who continues to prove again and again that I can trust him with who I am, even when it's ugly. We've learned a lot over the past five years, and I look forward to having Luke at my side through future challenges and joys.

Luke, thanks for giving me a glimpse of the grace of God. I love you.

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers

I usually scoff at books that are rewritten for a niche market. It starts with a general title like Healthy Eating, for example. Then the author or publisher (I really don't know which) decides they want to make more money, so they publish the same content with a few different stories and title it Healthy Eating for Women. And the cycle continues until you end up with books titled Healthy Eating for Centenarians and Healthy Eating for Baseball Fanatics.


That being said Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers has mostly new content, even though the author's philosophy is consistent with her first book. I haven't scoffed at toddler books (yet) because I feel like I recently entered a whole new arena of parenting. We've somewhat figured out how to help Caleb eat and sleep well. Now I need to figure out what to do when his will and my will don't match.


Hogg's book has some helpful tips and common sense parenting skills if you're interested in raising civilized children. While I hope my children will be civilized, that's not my whole goal as a parent, so this won't be my only resource for parenting strategies and skills.


A few highlights (Some are helpful; some are just to show Hogg's opinions):

• Your expectations may change, depending on your child's personality.
• Praise only for a job well done. (advice also given in Grace Based Parenting.)
• The importance of rituals and routines. Hogg quotes Barbara Biziou: "By using rituals, we help ourselves and our children make better sense of the world. They begin to regard even the mundane as sacred moments of connection and togetherness" (pg. 68).
• Rituals/routines can be as simple as washing hands before eating.
• Prime time for potty training (in Hogg's opinion) is 18 months-2 years.
• Practice skills at home before expecting your child to perform/behave in public.
• Discipline (Hogg offers 12 points for "conscious" discipline. Some seem standard--know your boundaries, model, say no, praise good behavior, etc. Some helpful points for me: plan ahead, offer closed-end choices, pick your battles.)
• Offer closed-ended choices. For example, instead of asking, "Are you ready for your bath now?" which really doesn't give your toddler any choice, ask, "Would you like to use the red washcloth or the blue washcloth?"
• While one of Hogg's points said "Don't rely on corporal punishment" (spanking, flicking hands, hitting, etc.), she actually said never use it.

After reading baby books and now a few toddler books, I'd say Hogg's Baby Whisperer philosophy is rather moderate in approach. She's big on respecting children's feelings and wishes, but she's also big on teaching children to respect the world around them.