To Work or Not to Work

I'm not sure I should post on this topic, but since no one knows about this blog and no one reads it besides myself, why not? Mostly this is a sounding board for my thoughts. So I'm pregnant, and I teach high school full-time. The question is what do I do next year? Do I continue working full-time? I don't want to. Do I work part-time? Could I finagle a part-time teaching job at my current school? Do I explore other career opportunities not in the public school system? Do I not work at all?

Prior to actually teaching, I always assumed I would stop working (outside the home) when I had kids. My mom stayed home with my siblings and me. My husband's mom made the same choice. Let's say the choice to stay home with the kids is not only a family tradition but a cultural tradition. I grew up in a culture of Christianity where mothers who stayed home with their children were obviously better mothers. I'm not sure this idea was explicitly stated, but it was definitely communicated. So now that I'm actually at the critical point of making this decision...pregnant with my first child, I've started evaluating the reasons behind the options. I'm sure that the blanket statement "All stay at home moms are betters moms than working moms" is false. But what about the statement: "It's easier to be an effective stay at home mom than an effective working mom?"

Recently I heard someone say on this topic something like: "As a parent, your first priority is raising your kids. No one else will do it for you." True. Daycare, no matter how good, won't parent your child. And this is the argument that has resonated with me the most. This is one reason I know I won't be working full-time next year. As much as I don't like to hear it, I am replaceable at work. Many others can teach the basics of reading and writing to freshmen. In fact, many can do it better than I can, but no one can take my place as a mother. I've done a little reading online about reasons that women continue to work after they have kids, and most of their reasons, don't sit well with me...having more money, not being dependent on your husband's income, being able to buy and SUV instead of a minivan!? The reasons I'm even considering continuing to work have nothing to do with money. In fact, I'd be teaching right now even if I didn't get paid for it.

So what are the reasons I even consider working part-time? For one, I value the intellectual stimulation. There's something challenging about creating and performing and teaching something new everyday that is very difficult to recreate or try to force upon yourself when there's no deadline or audience involved. Another reason...I value the contact I have in my workplace with people who do not follow Jesus Christ, students and teachers both. I am not good at seeking out these friendships and acquaintances of my own accord. I know from when I was a substitute teacher. I do not want to become a mom who lives in a Christian bubble and therefore lives with a distorted view of the world.


Therefore, I'm still weighing my options. I pray that my decision would be made with wisdom and foresight, and for the right reasons.

Discrimination Experiments

So yesterday in class I tried a motivational activity to help my students relate to Japanese Americans during World War II. We're starting a research unit, for which the topic is the Japanese Internment. This "motivational" activity was to help my students, many who do not know any Asian Americans and many who have never experienced discrimination, understand what a Japanese American teenager may have felt during this time period. Since I'm blond, I created an Executive Order 1023 (based on Executive Order 9066) creating a discriminating and unfair environment for my blond-haired students. All the blond students had to sit in the very front of the classroom on chairs that were different from the rest (or on the floor), use short stubby pencils, and write on scratch paper. While some students enjoyed sitting on the floor and getting all the attention, I was amazed at how many students I saw laughing and jeering at the blonds. On their way out of my classroom, I asked my students to write about their reactions to the experiment. Some were apathetic, some thought it funny, others were depressed. One student, who has a history of low self-esteem and confidence--and who is blond, left my classroom still dejected and down. Since I was concerned I contacted her mother. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time today communicating with the mother, with this student and with other teachers, discussing the activity, the benefits, the fears, my anxiety, the students' responses and so forth. After speaking with the student today, I could see she understood the point of the exercise, was able to compare her experience with that of a Japanese American teenager, and was smiling and laughing today. I was reassured. On my drive home, I started thinking about what I really value about this discrimination exercise...I think it's the fact that each person is uniquely and especially created. I thought through several of my students--the stars, the irritants, the concerns, the quiet ones--and was newly amazed that each of them was created on purpose and for a purpose. If anything, that's what I hope my students walk away with--that each human life is valuable and should be treated with dignity and respect. I hope this student I'm concerned about will come to understand that she is valuable and that she should treat herself with respect and dignity.