Moving

I'm not sure what to call this--crawling or limping--but Caleb is definitely moving. He's been thinking about it for a week or two now. His muscles cooperated with his brain this past Thursday.

Overdue Update

I haven't posted in a long while, mostly due to the fact that we're getting less sleep and more play/cry time around here. But before I have a mutiny on my hands, I'd better update everyone.

What's new?

• Caleb started eating solids. Thanksgiving week he got a full meal including sweet potato, green beans, and pumpkin. Ok, so he forgot the turkey. Maybe we'll get to turkey by Christmas.


• We were able to see family for Thanksgiving. My parents and grandmother came to Cedar Rapids on Thursday and managed to eat our (dry) turkey, and we traveled to Ottumwa to see all of Luke's family on Saturday and scarfed down the (delicious) turkey.
  

  Oh, and I suppose the grandparents had their chance to hold Caleb, too.
  

  
• Caleb's third tooth came in. And don't worry, Grandma, he's not addicted to his pacifier. This is how I found him after one nap this week:



• Caleb started sitting up and playing on his own. And now he's thinking really hard about moving. I'm enjoying the last few weeks before we really need to babyproof the hazardous parts of our house.


• Caleb had his six month check up, and we discovered just how skinny he is. Evidently he needs to be eating that turkey--maybe the whole thing. With the way he's been eating lately, I wouldn't put it past him.


• We hosted a Chili Cook-Off at our house with our ABF (Adult Bible Fellowship) from church and managed to plug in 12 or 13 slow cookers in our kitchen without blowing any fuses. Caleb proved his extraverted tendencies by staying up past ten because of all the excitement.


• Luke, being his diligent self, has been putting in some long hours at work as they approach(or miss) some deadlines. Thanks, Luke, for being such a great husband and father even in the midst of busy weeks at work.



• We managed to put up Christmas lights before the first snowstorm. Yay!
  
• Caleb has started putting syllables together. See the following video.

Nature v. Nurture

Have I mentioned that Caleb's future is planned out for him?

He'll be an avid reader,

an internationally renowned pianist,

and I suppose he'll enjoy an occasional video game.

Pad Thai

I came back from Thailand with a love for Thai food, of which one common dish is Pad Thai. Pad Thai simply means Thai noodles. As such, there are probably hundreds (if not thousands) of ways to cook this dish. You can find Pad Thai anywhere from fancy restaurants to street vendors. My favorite version was one I purchased from a street vendor. After browsing many recipes, I came up with a recipe that I think remains true to the original spirit of Pad Thai, that is, making good food from readily available ingredients. It doesn't include a few of the ingredients some people say are required for "true" Pad Thai, but those ingredients are not easy to find around here. I'm no expert on Thai food--I just like to eat it, so this is what I came up with.

Speaking of hard to find ingredients, if anyone wants to give us an awesome Christmas gift, our Asian food store stopped selling our favorite Thai dipping sauce and we haven't found anything close to it. If you're in a city with a larger Asian food market, would you look for Mae Pranom Dipping Sauce? We'll reimburse you for it!

Pad Thai

Ingredients:
8 oz. rice noodles (medium width)
1 T. oil
Cilantro (freshly chopped is best, but dried will do
1/2 lb. chicken breast, diced
2-3 green onions, diced
2 eggs

Sauce:
2 T. fish sauce
1 T. oyster sauce
1 1/2 T. rice vinegar
1 1/2 T. brown sugar
1/4 tsp. cayenne

Optional garnishes:
Lime juice
Sugar
Chopped peanuts
Crushed red pepper
Fresh bean sprouts

Directions:
1. Cook the rice noodles. Because I'm usually trying to rush things, I boil a pot of water, remove the pot from the heat, and then soak the rice noodles in the hot water for about 10 minutes or until the noodles are bite-able. Drain. Alternately, I think you can use really hot tap water and soak the noodles for a longer period of time. Do not try to boil the noodles like pasta. You'll have a sticky mess, not that I would know.
2. Mix the sauce ingredients (fish sauce, oyster sauce, rice vinegar, brown sugar, and cayenne) in a small bowl.
3. Heat 1 T. oil in wok or skillet. Cook diced chicken with cilantro over high heat until chicken is cooked through. Add green onions. Break 2 eggs into center of wok and stir fry until egg is cooked through.
4. Add more oil to the wok if necessary. Add cooked rice noodles and sauce to the wok and stir fry.
5. Serve and garnish with a splash of lime juice, a sprinkle of sugar, some chopped peanuts, crushed red pepper, and bean sprouts to taste.

If you want to eat this in true Thai style, use a fork to push the noodles onto a soup spoon and spoon into your mouth. If only DQ made 5-cent baby ice cream cones here like they did in Bangkok, then it'd be a complete meal.

I love you when...

Caleb,
I love you when...
...you give me your cheesy grin right as I put you to bed.
...I take you for walks and your socks become your mittens.
...you grab your toes and hold on for dear life.
...you blow so many bubbles that you end up with a goatee.
...you're "flying" and your goatee drips...on me.
...I feel your soft hands in the early morning.
...people comment on how symmetrical your head is.
...you "sing" while I play the piano.
...I accidentally cut your finger instead of your fingernail.
...you show curiosity about new faces.
...you cry in the middle of the night.
...you sleep.
...you try to eat your entire hand, wrist included.

Sometimes my love makes me laugh, sometimes cry, but I'll keep working on demonstrating that love in these ways. And when I fail, please remember that this love is perfect and never ending.

Pictures

Did I mention that Caleb's teething?

And that he's discovered his toes?

Or that he decided he needed glasses?

Quintessential ISU

I have some friends who are ISU grad students but have never been on the ISU campus. They've decided to visit the campus this weekend, drawn in part by their whooping Aggie loyalty. They're wondering what they should see and do on campus. I've reminisced about one of my favorite Ames restaurants. Some of the other quintessential activities for Iowa Staters include:

• Attending VEISHA and watching the Barker House Lawn Chair Brigade.
• Kissing under the Campanile, preferably with your life-long love. (You can also read about it here.)
• Walking around Lake LaVerne, also with your life-long love. (On certain days, this should also be done holding your breath so you don't inhale toxic fumes.)
• Eating Great Plains Pizza.
• Eating Hickory Park BBQ.
• For the superstitious: Walking around the Zodiac in the Memorial Union, especially before a final exam.

So Iowa Staters, what other activities are a necessary part of being a Cyclone?

Irish Shepherd's Pie

Luke and I miss several Ames restaurants, of which one is Dublin Bay for its Irish Shepherd's Pie and Irish soda bread. Since we won't be traveling to Ames anytime soon and I've been wanting fall food lately, I attempted to make a homemade version of Irish Shepherd's Pie tonight. While it wasn't the same as Dublin Bay, it wasn't half bad, and I got to try a new vegetable in the process. I'm posting the recipe here for my memory's sake. Here's the recipe I concocted:

Ingredients:
1 stalk celery, diced
3 medium carrots, diced
2 parsnips, diced
1/2 c. frozen peas
3/4 lb. diced steak or stew meat
1/2 onion, diced
Garlic powder to taste
1/4-1/2 tsp. black pepper
1/4 tsp. thyme
1/4 tsp. marjoram
1/4 tsp. oregano
1/4 tsp. basil

Mashed potato topping ingredients:
5 russet potatoes
1/4 c. cheddar cheese
Garlic powder and black pepper to taste
Enough butter and milk to create a spreadable texture.

Directions:
1. Boil potatoes in enough water to cover them for about 15 minutes or until fork-tender. Drain and mash with butter, milk, cheddar cheese, black pepper and garlic.
2. Place celery, carrots, and parsnips in saucepan with just enough water to cover. Boil for 10 minutes and then add frozen peas. Boil for 5 additional minutes or until desired tenderness is achieved. Drain the vegetables, reserving the water.
3. Meanwhile cook steak with onion and garlic powder. Once the meat is cooked through, drain any grease.
4. Mix together the meat mixture, the vegetables, 1 c. of the reserved water, and the spices (pepper, thyme, marjoram, oregano, and basil). Place into an oven-safe dish. Top with mashed potatoes. Top mashed potatoes with a few dabs of butter.
5. Bake in a 350 degree oven until warmed through and top is slightly crusty.

This was somewhat time consuming, but I completed steps 1-4 ahead of time and then tossed it in the oven in time for dinner. Since it was refrigerated between prepping and baking, it took about 45 minutes to bake. Because it's rather time consuming, I won't make this often, but it was good for a change from the usual. Next time I may try my hand at Irish soda bread.

The first tooth

We caught a glimpse of Caleb's first tooth today, still under the gum but definitely visible, which explains some of the sleeping issues we've all had the past few weeks. Any tips and/or tricks from those of you who can still remember their experience with teething? i.e. You either have a really good memory or you remember what worked when your kids were teething.

Coffee Break Inspiration

Anne of Green Gables is one reason I'm glad that I am a girl. While enjoying a break at my favorite coffee spot this weekend (without the coffee of course), I rediscovered some of Anne's wisdom.

After Anne goes to Marilla's church for the first time, Marilla scolds Anne for not listening to Mr. Bell pray while at church. This is how Anne responds: "But he wasn't talking to me. He was talking to God and he didn't seem to be very much interested in it, either. I think he thought God was too far off to make it worth while. I said a little prayer myself though. There was a long row of white birches hanging over the lake and the sunshine fell down through them, way, way down, deep into the water. Oh, Marilla, it was like a beautiful dream! It gave me a thrill and I just said, 'Thank you for it, God' two or three times."

Crafty-ness

The definition of "crafty" from the American Heritage Dictionary:

1. Skilled in or marked by underhandedness, deviousness, or deception.
2. Chiefly British Skillful; dexterous.
   

Call it crafty, creative, or crazy, here are several projects I've completed over the past few months (notice the word completed--not started and completed):

Crocheted Baby Blanket. "Peppermint Candy" pattern from 7-day Afghans by Jean Leinhauser and Rita Weiss using size I hook and Caron Simply Soft yarn in Berry and White.

Flannel Baby Blanket (36" square) and coordinating burp cloths. For when you get tired of wearing either spit up or a cloth diaper on your shoulder....

Filet crochet name doily using size 20 or 30 thread and size 12 hook. An ode to my great-grandmas' generation when they actually used this technique to make entire tablecloths and bedspreads 50 times the size of this little piece.

4 months

Caleb went to his 4 month "well child" appointment with his pediatrician today. Here are the stats:

• Height: 26.25 inches (90th percentile)
• Weight 13 lbs. 6 oz. (20th percentile)
• Head Circumference: 41.5 cm (25th percentile)

According to Caleb's pediatrician, there's no cause for concern if a baby is lighter weight than the American average. And that's the way he said it. He said it is evident that Caleb's nutrition intake is fine because of his height. He also said Caleb should (not can) be sleeping through the night by now, so it looks like we may be trying the "cry it out" method (again). Who can I blame for this kid's stubbornness, or should I say spirit?

Another fun note: Caleb found his feet. Who knew they could be so entertaining?

Stump Removal

Why? Oh why do the stump removal people have to come to cut out our neighbor's old tree stump during Caleb's nap instead of say...sometime between midnight and two a.m. when he was already awake?

Anna Karenina Update

I started reading Anna Karenina weeks ago, and I loved it. Loved the characters, their struggles, and the translation. Then I read the last sentence, and I was left speechless. I felt (and still feel) robbed and betrayed. How can one line of an eight hundred page book ruin the whole thing? Tolstoy delved into so many great questions and then gave me that answer? That's no answer! That's a trite band-aid to cover the fact that the questions he raised are still agonizingly, achingly unanswered.

I suppose it takes a good author to make me care enough about their story to be unsatisfied when their characters are unsatisfied instead of just dumping their unsatisfied characters back into the library drop box.

Buying in Bulk...worth it?

I have a love-hate relationship with buying in bulk. I love saving money and getting the best deal. I hate going over my weekly grocery budget, and buying meat for the next 3 months will definitely do that. I love having staples on supply in my freezer or pantry. I hated the pounds upon pounds of hot dogs that I ate as a kid because that's what we had on hand. I don't think I've purchased hot dogs since.



Recently I heard reports of cheap diapers at our area's warehouse club. So I started looking into a membership. Because they publish prices online, I was able to compare their prices with my usual grocery store price to see which items were big savers. I recently spent $54.02 to save $22.37. Of course those savings come with several footnotes. I've saved only if we don't use more than we normally would, simply because we have it. I've saved only if the products don't go bad in the pantry, fridge, or freezer. I've saved if I don't buy extra things we normally wouldn't get just because it's a good deal. And I've only saved if we don't have to buy a whole other appliance (like a deep freeze) to store my 'savings.' And then I have to consider the time (and gas money) it takes to drive to another store for groceries. Is this frugality really worth it? The jury's still out.

The real question is: Why am I saving money (if I end up actually saving)? Is saving money in an of itself a worthy goal? And now I'll stop writing before I get too philosophical.

Pictures

Need I say more?

Life is good.

Current Reading

Is it a sign of arrogance or simply a mark of a good reader that I can see myself in every diverse character in Anna Karenina?

3 months and still smiling

I mean, sticking out his tongue. Caleb hit the three month mark this week, and his newest trick is sticking out his tongue. Talented little guy, huh? He's also just starting to laugh, but we haven't caught that on camera yet. Other accomplishments include slobbering all over (just in case you thought babyhood was all cuteness), growing, chewing on his hands, and speaking in an early form of baby talk. If anyone knows of a good translator...

Stuck in the Trenches

I've been suffering from a myopic vision of my life lately. Three weeks ago Caleb slept through the night once. Two weeks ago he slept through the night four times. One week ago he slept through the night once, maybe twice. Last night he was awake at least three different times. In addition to that he decided last week not to nap longer than 45 minutes during the day. For those of you not living in newborn world at the moment, all that adds up to not enough sleep--for Caleb or for me. Was Caleb just teasing us three weeks ago when he slept through the night? Did he have to get my hopes up? I wonder if I'd be more content and less discouraged with the current state of affairs if my expectations hadn't been raised. It seems like we're moving backwards instead of forwards. Then the question is, "What do I do?" Some expert people say one thing, other expert people say the opposite, and most sources say that you should do what you think is best. Thanks for the help.

So instead of reading, I decided to ask an actual, real-life, someone-I-somewhat-know mom for help, which is very difficult for me to do in the first place, but I'm glad I did. After hearing my questions, her first questions were not about how long Caleb has been sleeping, how often he's been eating or any of those details--though those details did come up later. Her first questions were about my frustration/anxiety, reminding me that my mood affects my whole home. Ouch. But with that question, my myopic vision suddenly zoomed out. Yes, sleeping is important, but my attitude in teaching Caleb how to get enough sleep is probably more important. Can I be joyful in implementing whatever sleep method I choose to use with Caleb?

Several weeks ago, I was on a 80s and 90s worship music kick. Actually, I just found an old music book and was playing through it. Most of the songs reminded me why we don't sing too many of these anymore, but the song "My Soul Waits," which is based on Psalm 130 reminded me of an important question. Where am I placing my hope? After playing this song and reading the psalm, I journaled: "Where is my hope? In Christ's past redemption and in the coming deliverance when He returns. All else will pale and fail me. If I put my hope in Caleb sleeping through the night (or Luke or teaching or a predictable and meaningful day), I am going to be disappointed. Not only because he won't sleep through the night, but also because when Caleb sleeps through the night, it doesn't satisfy my soul. Yet if I place my hope in Christ's return, my soul will be completely satisfied when that happens. I will get to see Jesus!" And I don't think I'll be disappointed. So that's where I need to set my sights. I'm praying God would help me keep my eyes fixed there.

And until that day, I'll still need to decide how to teach Caleb to get enough sleep, but I can do it with joy not because I'm happy he's crying instead of sleeping, but because I know the crying won't last for eternity.

It won't, will it?

Weeds

Recently I've spent time harvesting all kinds of weeds in my yard, which makes me wonder, "What makes a weed a weed?"

For the Time Being

"I thought, I too could...inquire, hollering at God the compassionate, the all-merciful, WHAT'S with the bird-headed dwarfs?" (53) This question seems to be a key argument in Annie Dillard's perception of the world and God's part in it.


I just finished reading For the Time Being by Annie Dillard. While not a thick book, it took me quite awhile to read simply becase I kept abandoning it for other reading or activity. It's a depressing book, so the beautiful summer weather has enticed me away from reading.


It consists of 7 chapters that are divided into sections about birth, sand, China, clouds, numbers, Israel, encounters, thinker, evil, and now. In each of these sections Dillard offers observations ranging from the smallest details of nature to mind-boggling numbers, all the while infusing various quotations from a multitude of famous and common people. Sometimes she highlights awesome of nature and humanity, but many times she highlights the awful (bird-headed dwarfs). Most of the time these observations seem arbitrary and unrelated, but Dillard connects most everything back to the big questions: Why am I here? Who is God? If God is good, why are there bird-headed dwarfs?

While I enjoy Dillard's ability to observe the world, wonder over the minute details in the world, and ask difficult questions, I draw very different conclusions than she does. Dillard sees the broken world and decides that God is either not powerful enough to fix it or doesn't care enough to fix it. In contrast, I believe that God's just waiting patiently. But as Dillard says, "I don't know beans about God" (169). She also quotes Augustine as saying, "We are talking about God. What wonder is it that you do not understand? If you do understand, then it is not God" (47). I agree with the idea that we can never fully understand God, but I also believe that we can absolutely know that God is who he says he is. While this doesn't answer all the difficult questions, it does help me know what questions to ask. Instead of beating my head against a brick wall of things I'll never understand, I'll try to understand what God has revealed about himself. For this reason, this book is an interesting read, but one I'll pass up in the future.

Baby Blog

It's been a few weeks since I've posted photos, and I know grandmas are anxiously waiting.

The face off.



August 16th at Erica's wedding.

Gutsfully Gracious, Graceful, and Full of Grace

My challenge for this post: Share a bit of Erica's amazing gift of friendship by sharing how cool my friend Erica is. And now that I've been sitting in front of my computer for 20 minutes trying to think of a way to do this, I think I may succomb to the pressure. Ahh! The pressure! The pressure!

Erica is so great, she'd hate the fact that I'm writing a post about her. She hates being the center of attention. Crazy girl, she'd rather serve others. In fact, one of the things I admire about Erica is her persistence in giving credit to God for all that she is and does. This girl, I mean, married matron knows that she is the person she is today because of God's grace, and she's not afraid to gracefully share that fact with others.

I had the honor of being Erica's matron of honor this past weekend (Hopefully I wasn't too matronly!) and the honor of observing her on a day filled with dreams, pressure, joy, friends, family and details, details, details. It truly was an honor to watch Erica and Cornel glorify God together on their wedding day as they welcomed guests not only with speeches, but with joy and as they pointed to God's character instead of themselves throughout their wedding ceremony. Erica walked down the aisle to "Great Is Thy Faithfulness," and her face shone the brightest when we all sang the doxology at the end.

A few things I appreciate about Erica:

• She's gracious. As I said before, she welcomes people with her whole heart and whole smile (no matter who they are--from my grandma to international friends) to the point they feel right at home and honored. She shows interest in whatever others show interest, which makes them feel that much more at home.


• She's graceful. She even took ballet classes for the first time in college just to improve in this category!


• She's full of grace. One of the ways that Erica challenges me the most is in her dependence on God's grace. She knows she doesn't earn God's good gifts, but she fully lives in them, making the most of everything God's given her and enjoying it too!


• She's gutsy. She's willing to eat bugs in a Thai grocery store on a bet. She's willing to explore unknown bike routes in foreign countries resulting in a much longer bike ride than planned. And she's gutsy enough to be vulnerable and share her struggles so that it's clear that God is the one doing such cool things in her life, not just Erica.


• Besides all that, she's got style.

It really is an honor to spend time with Erica. (Cornel is one lucky guy.) She's one of those friends you don't give up once you find them, so even though she just married Cornel and she'll be moving to the other side of the world (again) in the near future, she'll have a hard time getting rid of me.

A New School Year

This will be the first time in 22 years that I don't gear up for a new school year. Can you believe that I've gone to school for the past 22 years straight? Crazy. I'm not that old, am I? While I'm glad to have the opportunity to stay home with Caleb, I am missing some of the back to school excitement. I'll miss the challenge of learning 150 names and faces as fast as I can. I'll miss the feeling of getting a fresh, clean-slate start, as if whatever happened last year doesn't count. I'll miss the new relationships that come with a new school year. And believe it or not, I may even miss the structured schedule. Don't get me wrong, there's plenty I won't miss, but I'll spare you the details. Good luck to all the students and teachers out there. Enjoy the school year as much as you can even when you have to listen to boring speeches by your superiors!

And the reason I won't be bored at home: I've decided to join the wedding industry frenzy as a florist. Just kidding. But I did put together some boutonnieres and bouquets for a friend's wedding this past weekend. Do you think there's a future for an inartistic black thumb in the floral industry?

"Essential" Baby Gear

I thought I was being somewhat successful in my quest to be a no frills parent until I made a list of baby items that I had actually used during the first two months after Caleb was born. Then I had the mental image of a mom in a developing nation carrying her child on her back as she worked in fields all day. Then I put Caleb in his bouncy seat and continued enjoying our baby stuff.

Weekend

Friday: First date without Caleb. The babysitters survived!! Our babysitter's ability to play piano seemed to make the evening easier for them. :-) And I enjoyed the date without worrying! Thanks!

Saturday: Picnic and hiking at Pinicon Ridge. Beautiful day to be outside.

Sunday: Baby dedication at our church. Luke's parents and brother and my mom and grandma were able to come for it. I know a lot of different churches have different traditions regarding babies, but I do enjoy the perspective our church takes. Since Caleb can't choose much of anything for himself right now, the focus of the dedication is not on him, but on his parents and his church family. We (Luke and I) have committed to create an atmosphere in which Caleb can come to know God. I feel the weight of that task because of its immensity and because it's what I want for Caleb more than anything else. But part of the weight is lifted knowing that we have a supportive family and church family who will help us along the way (not to mention a gracious Savior who will supply all we need in Christ). This is why baby dedications are part of the church service...because the church partners with us in this task.

Luke and I felt completely and utterly blessed this weekend. I know "blessed" is an old-fashioned word that isn't used much outside of church anymore, but it describes our feelings and leaves me wondering why God has been so good to us. It's obviously not anything we've earned. Why do I have all I want when others don't? A question I cannot answer, so I go on trying to live in a state of thankfulness and not to take it all for granted.

1.love.4.years.

Cheesy title, I know. If you're not a fan of cheese, don't continue reading.

Today marks four years that Luke and I have been married. So here's a post for my handsome husband.

Luke,
I love you period. I also love you with an exclamation point, but never with a question mark. I also love you with an ellipsis because the sentence doesn't end. (I warned you this was cheesy.)

I love you...
...because you're so good at loving me. You know me so well already; I can't imagine what life with you will be like in 10, 20, or 50 years!
...for your confidence in God's goodness and faithfulness and your faithfulness in leading our family in this.
...for showing patience (but not tolerance) of my many faults.
...for your ability to focus on what is really important and not get tied up in knots about what isn't important.
...for your peacefulness.
...when I see you loving Caleb. Have I told you that you two look cute together?
...when you write me letters simply because you know I like them.
...when you talk about what's important to you.
...when you make us try crazy things like stroller derby.
...because I get to spend as many years with you as God gives us life.

I was going to stop at 4 reasons, but I couldn't help myself. Thanks for being such a great husband. I'm so thankful God brought us together, and I'm thankful you are faithful to God's commands in so many ways. Here's to my one love for years to come!

Baby Blog

Caleb: "I know I'm handsome. What are you looking at me for?"

Caleb: "My fist is quite tasty. Do you want to try some?"
Chilling with Dad and pondering the meaning of life. I've almost got it!

This just makes me laugh...out loud.

Luke is teaching Caleb his favorite camera tricks, and Caleb is a quick study. Have you seen many pictures of Caleb smiling? Yeah. He really does smile, I promise!
And...he's mobile. He really did start off in the middle of the playmat.

One thing that entertains me during the day is making up what I think Caleb is thinking as I look at his various facial expressions. Anyone else want to try their hand? Contributions are welcome in the comment section.

New Family Game: Stoller Derby

Rules: Every family member gets 8 wheels.

Goal: Travel 5 miles and have the most fun of anyone.

I'm not sure who won the game this past weekend, but Caleb sure had the easiest time. Somehow he finagled Luke and me to push him the whole way--as if he couldn't do it himself!

Living Small

If you're like me, you enjoy reading definitions for commonly used words. From the American Heritage Dictionary...

Small:
1. Being below the average in size or magnitude.
2. Limited in importance or significance; trivial: a small matter.
3. Limited in degree or scope: small farm operations.
4. Lacking position, influence, or status; minor: “A crowd of small writers had vainly attempted to rival Addison” (Thomas Macaulay).
5. Unpretentious; modest: made a small living; helped the cause in my own small way.
6. Not fully grown; very young.
7. Narrow in outlook; petty: a small mind.
8. Having been belittled; humiliated: Their comments made me feel small.
9. Diluted; weak. Used of alcoholic beverages.
10. Lacking force or volume: a small voice.

Small fry: Persons or things regarded as unimportant
Small change: Something of little value or significance
Small talk: Casual or trivial conversation
Small-minded: Having a narrow or selfish attitude


Sometimes I feel like I'm living a small life right now. Caleb is definitely "below average in size" and "not fully grown." My travels are "limited in degree or scope." When was the last time I left the house for more than 2.5 hours? Right now, I "lack position, influence, and status." A few months ago I could tell my 150 9th grade students what to do, and (for the most part), they'd do it. I don't have that kind of influence even with Caleb right now.

What I'm learning (and I have the feeling I'll continue learning it for many years to come) is that doing the small things right is not small at all. I'm usually very impressed by big things--international travel, polysyllabic words (if that's even a word), numurous and influential people who listen to your ramblings, etc. The facts of my life remain: I won't be taking a long plane ride anytime soon, and I make up my polysyllabic words. What's also true is that even when I did travel internationally to do something I thought was "great," the greatness still came down to living daily life well. When I traveled to Thailand in college, the people I met weren't impressed by my creative lesson plans or my stellar personality. They were more likely to comment on how my team treated each other (and them) on a daily basis (alluding to my mad Uno skills, of course). My influence didn't come from the fact that I thought I was doing something big.

So right now, I'm living a small life--one that's limited in scope--but trying to live that small life well. This is where I hope I deviate from some of the definitions of "small." Instead of being narrow-minded and petty, I want to have a global perspective (meaning I am not at the center of the universe, neither is Caleb, nor is Iowa). Instead of wasting time on trivial matters, I want to use my time purposefully (and changing diapers counts as purposeful). Instead of being small-minded, I want to be thankful and generous.

I'm reminded that the smallest of flowers...

Hiking

On Sunday we took Caleb out for his first hike at Palisades State Park. He's armed against the sun and the vicious bugs plaguing Iowa this summer. Although he didn't do much hiking on his own and he slept through most of the hike, I think he had a good time!

Captive Audience

During the past few years, I haven't played the piano all that often, partly due to lack of time and energy, but also due to a lack of audience. And since I feel guilty indulging in a hobby that is completely self-serving, my piano hasn't gotten a heavy workout for quite some time.

But...now I have a captive audience! Caleb can't run away screaming from the sound of my piano giving my out of shape fingers a workout or from my fingers working out a new piece of music. In fact, Caleb seems to enjoy live music. It's one way I've found of calming him down when he's not tired, not hungry, not dirty--just cranky. He can be in full bore crying and after a few measures of music, he's quiet. Needless to say, I am enjoying playing the piano, as well as being able to calm my crying son!

Baby Blog

The 1st Smile

(sort of) caught on camera

Where are the good guys?

I'm currently reading The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan, which is a fantasy saga that I wouldn't necessarily recommend to anyone, but has me thinking about good and evil and the definition of those terms.

Robert Jordan's writing is notable for his creation of an extensive make-believe world and gazillion characters, but I'd also describe his writing as slow, tedious, and lacking plot development. These books describe an epic struggle between good and evil (that evidently never ends...Jordan died before he finished the series), but the characters, aware of this epic struggle, are mired in petty arguments not only with their allies, but with their friends. It's clear Jordan knows where he wants his characters to end up, but he has a hard time making the journey by any other means than having the characters argue amongst themselves.

It's clear which characters are meant to be "the good guys;"they're mostly all on Rand's (the central character) side. But as I think about the "good" characters, I wonder what really distinguishes them from the bad guys. Both good and bad are manipulative to no end, self-centered, and stuck in never-ending petty arguments. Both groups use their "special powers" to achieve their own purposes and gain advantages for themselves. While the good guys all claim to live for "the Light"--whatever that is, it's left unexplained--many seem to think their own way of following the Light and fighting the Dark Lord is the sure way to success. Therefore, they end up in distrusting factions and acting on partial knowledge. (This train of thought has me considering the correlations to the modern church.)

Each good character also has his/her own code of conduct. The worst thing in Rand's perspective is to kill a woman (or let her be killed), and yet as much as he tries to avoid it, women die because of his actions. Nynaeve's battle is one for courage, and yet her flaming anger works well to hide her cowardice. Egwene says the following about evil in A Crown of Swords: "Do what you must, then pay the price for it, was what she had been taught. It was refusal to admit the debt, refusal to pay, that often turned necessity to evil" (Pg. 230). So according to Egwene, evil isn't in the action, it's in the intention and willingness to own up to it. And as the reader encounters a myriad of characters from various cultures and classes, he/she sees just as many different standards for right and wrong. The Aiel equate carrying a sword with evil, but bigamy is tradition. In Ebou Dar, fighting (and killing) in duels is standard practice, but to tell a lie is a great offense.

So what makes people (or characters) good? Tradition, intention, personal success? The question ties closely to my current study of Romans. The first half of Romans 2 states that there is one standard of righteousness that is based on truth (vs. 2). It also demonstrates that knowing the right thing to do isn't enough; doing the right thing is also required. Romans 2:13 says, "For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God's sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous." By this standard, there aren't any good guys in The Wheel of Time series.

Love, Death, and Special Effects

First of all, why does an article about a serial killer's wedding plans make international headlines?

Secondly, the article makes me wonder whether people actually live crazy, Jason-Bourne-esque lives (minus the special effects, of course).

Lastly, why am I bothering to write a blog entry about it?

Time as a Commodity

What's worth my time? What's my time worth?

I began thinking about these questions as I was cleaning out and organizing my teaching files. In an effort to not store boxes of papers that I'll never look at again, I've been consolidating the numerous lesson plans, units, student papers, articles, and other teaching related papers that I've saved over the past few years. Now I have most of my teaching units in nice, neat 3-ring binders so if I ever teach Animal Farm or Romeo and Juliet or my other units again, I don't have to start from scratch, and I won't have to search through boxes of papers to find my ideas. I also came across a unit I developed in college. The thing has to be at least 300 pages. As I look at it now, I will probably never teach that unit, but somehow I just could not throw it away. Those papers represent the only all-nighter I had to pull in college. They represent hours upon hours digging through the stacks in the ISU library. They show how I chose to spend a lot of time during the last month before student teaching. During my senior year, I decided it was worth my time to spend hours in the library, in front of my computer, and with my classmates to create this teaching unit that I will never use. Granted, that unit earned me a passing grade, which contributed to a college degree, which contributed to a teaching license, which contributed to a teaching job...and so forth. How did I decide that developing that unit was worth that much time? What from all my time spent teaching over the past few years will have any lasting worth? Why did I feel it was important to spend my time organizing my lesson plans and recycling old papers this past week? Is it worth my time to write this blog?

Time is a commodity I spend all too easily. How would I spend my time if I budgeted my time as carefully as I budget my money? What would my days (and nights) look like if I truly considered the lasting value of the activities I chose to do?

Stubborn-Face

So it's not the most flattering of pictures.... Over the past few weeks, our sleepy baby has decided to wake up! We're discovering all sorts of different cries and facial expressions (but we can only interpret a few). We've labeled this face the "stubborn-face." When Caleb makes this face, I think he's thinking, "I think I should be in charge, but I can't even hold up my own head yet. That's the way it is, but I don't have to like it." Other notable events: Caleb is starting to bald. He's got a receding hairline like that of a 50-year-old man with the name Butch. I've heard of premature balding, but isn't this a little early? Other than that it's eat, cry, poop, cry, spit up, cry, sleep, cry, wiggle, cry...and repeat.

Romans

Our church is just beginning a study of the book of Romans. I'm excited about it--partly because I usually like studying books more than I like studying random topics, and partly because there's a lot of truth stated so clearly in Romans that has changed my life. I'm a little behind in my personal study of the book--it seems like someone starts to cry whenever I sit down to start, and it's not always Caleb. In the Sunday messages and the blog, the NET version of the Bible is being used. I'm not familiar with this translation at all, but it lent me a new perspective this past week.

At the end of Romans 1:17, Paul quotes the Old Testament saying, "The righteous will live by faith." (NIV) Only in the NET it reads, "The righteous by faith will live." As a former English teacher, I could have lots of fun dissecting the subtle differences of these two sentences that contain the same words, but I think it'd just reveal my over-analytical, somewhat-crazy brain. It'd also go against the fact that these two translations do have the same meaning. What I've been pondering this week is my personal understanding of this verse. In the past I've misunderstood this verse as saying, "If you are righteous, you will live by faith," which makes the verse into a self-centered, you-must-work-harder command that I must follow instead of a simple statement of fact. It turns it into a personal quest for more faith and more righteousness--as if that's even possible. As I've been thinking about this verse this week, I've seen the promise that it holds. It really is a foreshadowing of the gospel that Paul so carefully explains in detail later in Romans. Through the faith that God gives (Eph. 2:9), I have been declared righteous (Romans 3:22 and others), and therefore I will truly live! It's a summary of the incredibly good news of Christ, and a promise of life--not only eternal life, but also a new life (Romans 6:4, 10-11). Yet another promise to hold closely.

Disclaimer: I'm hesitant about posting this entry, especially now that more than one other person knows I have a blog. This is the personal process document of a sleep-deprived lady who hasn't found a lot to time to study the Bible lately. I'm not out to explain theology or provide commentary on the book of Romans--there are better sources for that.

Gifts

Recently one of my betrothed (what a strange word) friends asked me to review her wedding registry for her. Prompted by her practical, service-oriented heart, she and her fiance decided to register online at alternativegiftregistry.org instead of at the usual home and department stores. After glancing through the site, I realized it wasn't just an online registry that opened up the wonders of online shopping to wedding guests, it was an opportunity to ask for non-traditional gifts like charity donations, contributions to investment plans, and lawn mowing. Glancing through several baby registries gave me the idea of listing all the ways that friends and family have gifted us since Caleb was born. Before he was born, I really didn't know what to tell people when they asked how they could help after he was born. Here are some ways that people have helped:

• Bringing meals. I think yesterday was the first time I cooked a full meal in three weeks. Do you know how difficult it can be to simply stir something and hold a crying baby at the same time?
  
• Being willing to give us time as a family. One of the things I've cherished (here's another outdated word) over the past few weeks is working together with Luke to "figure out" what we were supposed to be doing with Caleb. I think I would have missed out on that had we been receiving advice and help from all angles.
  
• Generous compliments. Even though our baby may not be the cutest baby in the world, I think so (and you were willing to agree with me). Even though I may not be back in my pre-pregnancy clothes, you still said, "You don't even look like you were pregnant." Is this a time when undue flattery is ok?
  
• Phone calls and an adult to talk to. While it's true that I talk to Caleb throughout the day, he can't say much of anything that's intelligible at this point. I have figured out the "I-want-to-eat-NOW" cry, the "I'm-practicing- for-choir" cry, and the "I'm-mad-at-you;-you-think-you-can-fool-me-with-a-pacifier" cry, but a two-way conversation is still wonderful.
• Understanding. When I do answer the phone and I can barely hear a word you're saying because Caleb is practicing one of his many cries in my other ear, you understood.
  
• Showing excitement. We're really excited about having Caleb in our lives, and I love it when other people share that excitement. Some have shown their excitement through blog comments, cards, or emails; others by going out of their way to look and exclaim at Caleb or giving more gifts. However you've shown your excitement, I've appreciated it.
  

Pictures

Here are a few pictures just to prove how beautiful this baby boy is! And if you don't agree with us, you'll just have to come visit because the camera can't capture it all!

Before: Heading to the hospital at 41.5 weeks pregnant.

Caleb and Daddy soon after birth.

Grandma and Caleb (Grandpa in the background)

Our sleepy and content baby.

Getting ready to go home from the hospital.

Our family of 3!

"It's a big world out here! What am I going to do?"

Caleb's favorite place to sleep: Daddy's chest.