Grace Based Parenting

I started reading Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel today. I figured I had read enough books about feeding babies and sleeping babies for awhile. Now that Caleb is understanding so much more of what we say and do, I want to be more intentional in the way I think about teaching and training him. Instead of relying on what I've heard that other people do, I want to think through what will be best for our family.

Since I like to learn by reading, I chose several books I'd like to read on the whole topic of parenting. Grace Based Parenting is the first book I was able to get a copy of. If you have other recommendations, I'd love to hear them, since I will be reading others on the subject in the future.

Chapter 1: What Not to Do.
The chapter is actually titled "Why Well-Meaning Parenting Falls Short." Kimmel lists 7 typical and off-base parenting styles. I'm sure I've either already fallen into or will fall into almost all seven categories.

One paragraph I totally agree with:
"All the parenting styles listed above have this in common: They are the result of a parent's theology. Their theology is a combination of the way they view God and the way they think He views them. If we have flawed theology regarding God's attitude toward us, it can automatically create a chain reaction of flawed decisions in how we raise our children. It can also set up our children to miss the joy of God, the heart of God, and the power of God in their personal lives." Page 16

Then Kimmel gives a broad picture of grace based parenting, and emphasizes that God primary deals with his children in an environment of grace (which doesn't exclude obedience, respect, boundaries, or discipline).

Then he jumps into making a case for 3 fundamental, driving inner needs that all children have. In fact, all people have these 3 needs because even Adam and Eve had them before the Fall. (Unfortunately, Kimmel doesn't explain where he came up with these 3 basic needs, or even show how Adam and Eve demonstrated these needs. It's especially unfortunate because these three needs form an outline for the book.) According to Kimmel, all children need security, significance, and strength. And, "If we've done our job adequately, our children should leave our homes with a love that is secure, a purpose that is significant, and a hope that is strong" (page 25). I don't disagree with Kimmel on these points; I just wish he had laid a stronger foundation for the foundational ideas of his book.

A key point:
"As your children see you meeting your need for love, purpose, and hope through your abiding relationship with Christ, your example will put power and authenticity behind your words" (page 26). A reminder that trusting Christ is the most important part of any parenting plan.

A few, rough thoughts from chapter 1. Maybe I'll blog more on this if I think it'll help me process the book.