Motherhood Conference, Part 1

Motherhood Conference
Ames
February 1-2
Reflections from the first 2 sessions

What do I most remember from last night's sessions?

1. Priorities: 1) relationship with the Lord 2) relationship with spouse 3) relationship with children/role as mother
2. 2 Tim. scripture "busy at home" was used as a command for mothers to stay home with their kids (as opposed to being so active outside the home running errands, etc.).
3. Role of the husband, wife and children in the home's authority structure. Do you submit to your husband? Do you teach and require your children to obey?
   
4. 2 Cor. 3:2--Children are our letters of commendation, not written on paper, but on the human heart. We have a huge influence on our children. They are our first and truest disciples. The speaker gave strong warnings not to set aside children for other ministry opportunities. Your children should be your priority.
   
5. Don't let mothering interrupt your tasks; let your tasks interrupt your mothering. Again, this goes back to the priorities.
   

My questions:

1. Where is the balance (and how do you find it) between staying home providing structure and routine for your children and going and making disciples of all nations?
2. I also have questions about many scripture references that were taken out of context. I need to go back and read them in context. 2 Cor. 9, 2 Tim., Gal., etc.

Reflections:
Some of this teaching is similar to BP's in content. Lord, thanks for BP's ability to present truth clearly and effectively!

Reasons to Stay Home

As I approach the final deadline for telling my work what I will do next year, I find myself resigned to resigning. And yet part of me really hates that. I don't want to resign myself to a course of action. I want to know why I'm choosing whatever I choose, so that when life gets difficult, I can focus of my purpose and not on the yuckiness. Either choice will be difficult. Staying home can be isolating. Working can be stressful and distracting. I don't want to stay home just because of peer or family pressure.

So here are some reasons why I'm considering staying home...

1. I can teach my son the ways of God. This includes teaching, training, loving, disciplining, serving, and all sorts of things I don't even know yet. Granted, this is not excluded if I do work. Even if I do work, I have a responsibility to parent my son. Yet, there is a time factor that cannot be ignored. The more time I spend with my son, the more opportunities I have to take advantage of teachable moments and to model Christlike values. (That thought is very scary to me by the way. Who am I to model these values?)
2. Daycare is not needed if I stay home. I know what my son experiences and how he's cared for.
3. I would have more time to participate in ministry opportunities with my church. If I work, my time would be more limited and my ministry focused at work.
4. We don't need my income. I don't work for the money involved. Every penny I've earned since we've been married has gone to a down payment on a house, giving, or long-term saving.
5. I could pursue other careers--teaching piano lessons, getting a master's degree, teaching community college....

This decision would be a lot easier if I considered my job just a job. But I don't. I see my job as an opportunity to impact people, and that's why I work.

Kid Prayers

Ways I'm praising God for the Kid...

• for the life God's given
• for his perfection in creating the Kid for his purposes
• for planning and ordaining the Kid's days
• for knowing him better than I ever will
• for meeting his needs before I know them
  

Ways I'm praying for the Kid...

• that he'd passionately, wholeheartedly follow Christ
• that he'd thank God for the days he's given
• that he'd seek God's help during difficult times
• that he'd know Scripture and live by it
• that he'd glorify your name
• that he'd open his eyes, heart, and mind to know you from a young age
• that he'd understand and discern the truth about God
• that he'd boldly share that truth with others in love and with grace
• that he'd seek to make you known all over the world
• that he'd inherit L's teeth and my eyesight
• that he'd be filled with joy and laughter and yet be able to seriously connect with others
• that he'd love the outdoors
• that he'd be astounded by God's creation
• that he'd be healthy
• that he'd love learning--both in terms of knowledge and experience

Ways I'm praying for L and me in regards to the Kid...

• that we'd be faithful stewards of God's gift
• that we'd seek wisdom in parenting
• that we'd trust God's sovereignty
• that we'd be faithfully patient
• that we'd seek God's guidance
• that we'd follow Christ's example of sacrificial love
• that we'd pass on a passion for loving and knowing Christ
• that God would shelter the Kid from our weaknesses
• that God's power would be made perfect in our weakness

This is a long list, and I guess I sum it all up by thanking God for the Kid's life and praying that the Kid would glorify God by passionately and wholeheartedly follow Christ. May it be so....

The Smallest of Flowers...

...often go unnoticed.

...are usually hard to find.

...survive harsh climates.

...demonstrate beauty even when no one is looking.

...praise their Creator, no matter who's looking.

...are so unique.

...and yet are not alone.

...bloom for the short time their climate allows.

...cover even rocky earth with color.

...reveal the mind of their Creator.

Perspective

Warning: Drama queen moment ahead.

Amazing what a few seconds can do to change your perspective. One moment I'm writing a list for the grocery store with thoughts of the job/no job debate running through my brain. A few moments later, I'm staring at my husband who has passed out at my feet. First of all, I realize I have no idea what to do in medical situations like this. I can't rouse him, and I don't know what to do. Then of course the proverbial flood of questions bombard me while I'm trying to figure out what to do. What if...? What if...? What if...? You can fill in the blanks.

I'm thankful for my husband. I'm thankful that he's very healthy. I'm thankful for an urgent care facility mere blocks from our house. I'm thankful for a slow morning at the said urgent care facility. I'm thankful for a soft surface to catch fainting husbands. I'm thankful for a God would still be God even if all the "what ifs" came true.

To Work or Not to Work

I'm not sure I should post on this topic, but since no one knows about this blog and no one reads it besides myself, why not? Mostly this is a sounding board for my thoughts. So I'm pregnant, and I teach high school full-time. The question is what do I do next year? Do I continue working full-time? I don't want to. Do I work part-time? Could I finagle a part-time teaching job at my current school? Do I explore other career opportunities not in the public school system? Do I not work at all?

Prior to actually teaching, I always assumed I would stop working (outside the home) when I had kids. My mom stayed home with my siblings and me. My husband's mom made the same choice. Let's say the choice to stay home with the kids is not only a family tradition but a cultural tradition. I grew up in a culture of Christianity where mothers who stayed home with their children were obviously better mothers. I'm not sure this idea was explicitly stated, but it was definitely communicated. So now that I'm actually at the critical point of making this decision...pregnant with my first child, I've started evaluating the reasons behind the options. I'm sure that the blanket statement "All stay at home moms are betters moms than working moms" is false. But what about the statement: "It's easier to be an effective stay at home mom than an effective working mom?"

Recently I heard someone say on this topic something like: "As a parent, your first priority is raising your kids. No one else will do it for you." True. Daycare, no matter how good, won't parent your child. And this is the argument that has resonated with me the most. This is one reason I know I won't be working full-time next year. As much as I don't like to hear it, I am replaceable at work. Many others can teach the basics of reading and writing to freshmen. In fact, many can do it better than I can, but no one can take my place as a mother. I've done a little reading online about reasons that women continue to work after they have kids, and most of their reasons, don't sit well with me...having more money, not being dependent on your husband's income, being able to buy and SUV instead of a minivan!? The reasons I'm even considering continuing to work have nothing to do with money. In fact, I'd be teaching right now even if I didn't get paid for it.

So what are the reasons I even consider working part-time? For one, I value the intellectual stimulation. There's something challenging about creating and performing and teaching something new everyday that is very difficult to recreate or try to force upon yourself when there's no deadline or audience involved. Another reason...I value the contact I have in my workplace with people who do not follow Jesus Christ, students and teachers both. I am not good at seeking out these friendships and acquaintances of my own accord. I know from when I was a substitute teacher. I do not want to become a mom who lives in a Christian bubble and therefore lives with a distorted view of the world.


Therefore, I'm still weighing my options. I pray that my decision would be made with wisdom and foresight, and for the right reasons.

Discrimination Experiments

So yesterday in class I tried a motivational activity to help my students relate to Japanese Americans during World War II. We're starting a research unit, for which the topic is the Japanese Internment. This "motivational" activity was to help my students, many who do not know any Asian Americans and many who have never experienced discrimination, understand what a Japanese American teenager may have felt during this time period. Since I'm blond, I created an Executive Order 1023 (based on Executive Order 9066) creating a discriminating and unfair environment for my blond-haired students. All the blond students had to sit in the very front of the classroom on chairs that were different from the rest (or on the floor), use short stubby pencils, and write on scratch paper. While some students enjoyed sitting on the floor and getting all the attention, I was amazed at how many students I saw laughing and jeering at the blonds. On their way out of my classroom, I asked my students to write about their reactions to the experiment. Some were apathetic, some thought it funny, others were depressed. One student, who has a history of low self-esteem and confidence--and who is blond, left my classroom still dejected and down. Since I was concerned I contacted her mother. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time today communicating with the mother, with this student and with other teachers, discussing the activity, the benefits, the fears, my anxiety, the students' responses and so forth. After speaking with the student today, I could see she understood the point of the exercise, was able to compare her experience with that of a Japanese American teenager, and was smiling and laughing today. I was reassured. On my drive home, I started thinking about what I really value about this discrimination exercise...I think it's the fact that each person is uniquely and especially created. I thought through several of my students--the stars, the irritants, the concerns, the quiet ones--and was newly amazed that each of them was created on purpose and for a purpose. If anything, that's what I hope my students walk away with--that each human life is valuable and should be treated with dignity and respect. I hope this student I'm concerned about will come to understand that she is valuable and that she should treat herself with respect and dignity.