Weekend

Friday: First date without Caleb. The babysitters survived!! Our babysitter's ability to play piano seemed to make the evening easier for them. :-) And I enjoyed the date without worrying! Thanks!

Saturday: Picnic and hiking at Pinicon Ridge. Beautiful day to be outside.

Sunday: Baby dedication at our church. Luke's parents and brother and my mom and grandma were able to come for it. I know a lot of different churches have different traditions regarding babies, but I do enjoy the perspective our church takes. Since Caleb can't choose much of anything for himself right now, the focus of the dedication is not on him, but on his parents and his church family. We (Luke and I) have committed to create an atmosphere in which Caleb can come to know God. I feel the weight of that task because of its immensity and because it's what I want for Caleb more than anything else. But part of the weight is lifted knowing that we have a supportive family and church family who will help us along the way (not to mention a gracious Savior who will supply all we need in Christ). This is why baby dedications are part of the church service...because the church partners with us in this task.

Luke and I felt completely and utterly blessed this weekend. I know "blessed" is an old-fashioned word that isn't used much outside of church anymore, but it describes our feelings and leaves me wondering why God has been so good to us. It's obviously not anything we've earned. Why do I have all I want when others don't? A question I cannot answer, so I go on trying to live in a state of thankfulness and not to take it all for granted.

1.love.4.years.

Cheesy title, I know. If you're not a fan of cheese, don't continue reading.

Today marks four years that Luke and I have been married. So here's a post for my handsome husband.

Luke,
I love you period. I also love you with an exclamation point, but never with a question mark. I also love you with an ellipsis because the sentence doesn't end. (I warned you this was cheesy.)

I love you...
...because you're so good at loving me. You know me so well already; I can't imagine what life with you will be like in 10, 20, or 50 years!
...for your confidence in God's goodness and faithfulness and your faithfulness in leading our family in this.
...for showing patience (but not tolerance) of my many faults.
...for your ability to focus on what is really important and not get tied up in knots about what isn't important.
...for your peacefulness.
...when I see you loving Caleb. Have I told you that you two look cute together?
...when you write me letters simply because you know I like them.
...when you talk about what's important to you.
...when you make us try crazy things like stroller derby.
...because I get to spend as many years with you as God gives us life.

I was going to stop at 4 reasons, but I couldn't help myself. Thanks for being such a great husband. I'm so thankful God brought us together, and I'm thankful you are faithful to God's commands in so many ways. Here's to my one love for years to come!

Baby Blog

Caleb: "I know I'm handsome. What are you looking at me for?"

Caleb: "My fist is quite tasty. Do you want to try some?"
Chilling with Dad and pondering the meaning of life. I've almost got it!

This just makes me laugh...out loud.

Luke is teaching Caleb his favorite camera tricks, and Caleb is a quick study. Have you seen many pictures of Caleb smiling? Yeah. He really does smile, I promise!
And...he's mobile. He really did start off in the middle of the playmat.

One thing that entertains me during the day is making up what I think Caleb is thinking as I look at his various facial expressions. Anyone else want to try their hand? Contributions are welcome in the comment section.

New Family Game: Stoller Derby

Rules: Every family member gets 8 wheels.

Goal: Travel 5 miles and have the most fun of anyone.

I'm not sure who won the game this past weekend, but Caleb sure had the easiest time. Somehow he finagled Luke and me to push him the whole way--as if he couldn't do it himself!

Living Small

If you're like me, you enjoy reading definitions for commonly used words. From the American Heritage Dictionary...

Small:
1. Being below the average in size or magnitude.
2. Limited in importance or significance; trivial: a small matter.
3. Limited in degree or scope: small farm operations.
4. Lacking position, influence, or status; minor: “A crowd of small writers had vainly attempted to rival Addison” (Thomas Macaulay).
5. Unpretentious; modest: made a small living; helped the cause in my own small way.
6. Not fully grown; very young.
7. Narrow in outlook; petty: a small mind.
8. Having been belittled; humiliated: Their comments made me feel small.
9. Diluted; weak. Used of alcoholic beverages.
10. Lacking force or volume: a small voice.

Small fry: Persons or things regarded as unimportant
Small change: Something of little value or significance
Small talk: Casual or trivial conversation
Small-minded: Having a narrow or selfish attitude


Sometimes I feel like I'm living a small life right now. Caleb is definitely "below average in size" and "not fully grown." My travels are "limited in degree or scope." When was the last time I left the house for more than 2.5 hours? Right now, I "lack position, influence, and status." A few months ago I could tell my 150 9th grade students what to do, and (for the most part), they'd do it. I don't have that kind of influence even with Caleb right now.

What I'm learning (and I have the feeling I'll continue learning it for many years to come) is that doing the small things right is not small at all. I'm usually very impressed by big things--international travel, polysyllabic words (if that's even a word), numurous and influential people who listen to your ramblings, etc. The facts of my life remain: I won't be taking a long plane ride anytime soon, and I make up my polysyllabic words. What's also true is that even when I did travel internationally to do something I thought was "great," the greatness still came down to living daily life well. When I traveled to Thailand in college, the people I met weren't impressed by my creative lesson plans or my stellar personality. They were more likely to comment on how my team treated each other (and them) on a daily basis (alluding to my mad Uno skills, of course). My influence didn't come from the fact that I thought I was doing something big.

So right now, I'm living a small life--one that's limited in scope--but trying to live that small life well. This is where I hope I deviate from some of the definitions of "small." Instead of being narrow-minded and petty, I want to have a global perspective (meaning I am not at the center of the universe, neither is Caleb, nor is Iowa). Instead of wasting time on trivial matters, I want to use my time purposefully (and changing diapers counts as purposeful). Instead of being small-minded, I want to be thankful and generous.

I'm reminded that the smallest of flowers...

Hiking

On Sunday we took Caleb out for his first hike at Palisades State Park. He's armed against the sun and the vicious bugs plaguing Iowa this summer. Although he didn't do much hiking on his own and he slept through most of the hike, I think he had a good time!

Captive Audience

During the past few years, I haven't played the piano all that often, partly due to lack of time and energy, but also due to a lack of audience. And since I feel guilty indulging in a hobby that is completely self-serving, my piano hasn't gotten a heavy workout for quite some time.

But...now I have a captive audience! Caleb can't run away screaming from the sound of my piano giving my out of shape fingers a workout or from my fingers working out a new piece of music. In fact, Caleb seems to enjoy live music. It's one way I've found of calming him down when he's not tired, not hungry, not dirty--just cranky. He can be in full bore crying and after a few measures of music, he's quiet. Needless to say, I am enjoying playing the piano, as well as being able to calm my crying son!

Baby Blog

The 1st Smile

(sort of) caught on camera

Where are the good guys?

I'm currently reading The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan, which is a fantasy saga that I wouldn't necessarily recommend to anyone, but has me thinking about good and evil and the definition of those terms.

Robert Jordan's writing is notable for his creation of an extensive make-believe world and gazillion characters, but I'd also describe his writing as slow, tedious, and lacking plot development. These books describe an epic struggle between good and evil (that evidently never ends...Jordan died before he finished the series), but the characters, aware of this epic struggle, are mired in petty arguments not only with their allies, but with their friends. It's clear Jordan knows where he wants his characters to end up, but he has a hard time making the journey by any other means than having the characters argue amongst themselves.

It's clear which characters are meant to be "the good guys;"they're mostly all on Rand's (the central character) side. But as I think about the "good" characters, I wonder what really distinguishes them from the bad guys. Both good and bad are manipulative to no end, self-centered, and stuck in never-ending petty arguments. Both groups use their "special powers" to achieve their own purposes and gain advantages for themselves. While the good guys all claim to live for "the Light"--whatever that is, it's left unexplained--many seem to think their own way of following the Light and fighting the Dark Lord is the sure way to success. Therefore, they end up in distrusting factions and acting on partial knowledge. (This train of thought has me considering the correlations to the modern church.)

Each good character also has his/her own code of conduct. The worst thing in Rand's perspective is to kill a woman (or let her be killed), and yet as much as he tries to avoid it, women die because of his actions. Nynaeve's battle is one for courage, and yet her flaming anger works well to hide her cowardice. Egwene says the following about evil in A Crown of Swords: "Do what you must, then pay the price for it, was what she had been taught. It was refusal to admit the debt, refusal to pay, that often turned necessity to evil" (Pg. 230). So according to Egwene, evil isn't in the action, it's in the intention and willingness to own up to it. And as the reader encounters a myriad of characters from various cultures and classes, he/she sees just as many different standards for right and wrong. The Aiel equate carrying a sword with evil, but bigamy is tradition. In Ebou Dar, fighting (and killing) in duels is standard practice, but to tell a lie is a great offense.

So what makes people (or characters) good? Tradition, intention, personal success? The question ties closely to my current study of Romans. The first half of Romans 2 states that there is one standard of righteousness that is based on truth (vs. 2). It also demonstrates that knowing the right thing to do isn't enough; doing the right thing is also required. Romans 2:13 says, "For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God's sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous." By this standard, there aren't any good guys in The Wheel of Time series.

Love, Death, and Special Effects

First of all, why does an article about a serial killer's wedding plans make international headlines?

Secondly, the article makes me wonder whether people actually live crazy, Jason-Bourne-esque lives (minus the special effects, of course).

Lastly, why am I bothering to write a blog entry about it?