Self-Consumed

I'm tired of it--of being self-consumed with thoughts about the baby growing inside of me, the baby room's organization, the lesson plans I need to leave behind, my own tiredness, when this baby will come, the chores I'd like to do before he comes, when I'll actually be able to sleep, and a myriad of other random, but consuming thoughts all concerned with me, myself, my pregnancy, and I. At this point, these things don't even cause me stress because I've done all I can do for the time being. But I can't stop thinking about pregnancy-related things. What if I give birth on this day? Why does my hip seem to be out of its socket? If I walk faster now, will it induce labor? If I walk everyday, will it make labor go faster? etc. etc. If nothing else, this self-centeredness has me ready to deliver this baby. I suppose giving birth won't change the all-consuming aspect of life; it'll just change the focus from my belly to a baby. At least that's what I've heard--that babies take up a lot of time and energy.

So far the best way I've found to deal with my self-centeredness is to start thanking God. This inevitably leads me to think of the world outside of my prego world, which then leads me to prayer. God, may you open my eyes and heart to see the world as you see it. May I value the things you value. May my mind and heart be set on you alone.